If you would like to continue working with me after an initial session, we arrange weekly sessions. These would be at the same time each week for 50 minutes. The work is generally open – ended, so the end date is not set at the beginning, but when you are ready to end we will work together with a planned ending. There may be times however when an end date is helpful for a series of sessions and we can look at that if needed.
I offer a safe, confidential setting for you to discuss and explore what the challenges are and what you are wanting in your relationship. Depending on what you are with or how entrenched or recent these issues are and also your willingness to engage in looking at what you are each bringing will affect how many sessions you need. Past histories and current stresses can obviously play a part.
When relationship challenges are entrenched there can be a need to focus more on looking at the root cause of certain issues and understand patterns of behaviour. This often involves looking at families of origin, which is the first place we learn about relationship. Where there are unmet needs in childhood these can unconsciously carry over into intimate relationship. Conscious understanding of your own and your partner’s issues helps transform deep seated relationship problems.
Sometimes a silent subtext in couples therapy can be ‘fix him/her’ seeing the other as the issue, yet the focus will be on what is happening between you and what you each bring to the challenge. We also focus on what’s working well and what changes are needed for you to create more of the relationship you really want.
Online couples therapy removes these barriers making support accessible to you. You can have sessions from the comfort of your own home or the convenience of your own workspace.
I have plenty of experience with couples online and I’ve done further training specifically to qualify for working online. I’m a Professional member of the Association for Counselling and Therapy Online (ACTO). Many couples are now preferring online sessions for the freedom in not having to travel and for other benefits such sessions enable. All my sessions are online.
You would need good enough wi-fi, a computer or tablet and ideally to download the latest version of zoom for high quality and confidential video calls. This is free from zoom.com
You would also need a quiet, private space.
Here is some guidance to help you get the most from online couples therapy:
Time: Try to ‘arrive’ 10 minutes or so before the session and before pressing the link on Zoom and allow 10 minutes free time after the session. Travelling to sessions allows some reflective time before and after. In the absence of this it is really good to give a bit of time for reflection before and after sessions. Some reflective time before and after will really help you get the most out of your session.
Privacy: As far as possible be in a quiet space free from distractions. It is important that you are not overheard, nor your screen overlooked.
Wi-fi: Good enough wi-fi is needed for a quality connection, so it is best to do a test beforehand. Being closer to your router can help and turning off other apps using wi-fi if not needed.
Notifications: Switch off notifications on your phone or laptop wherever possible, to avoid distractions – visual and auditory.
Set Up: This works best on a computer screen, which gives a larger view, but can be used with a tablet. I wouldn’t recommend a smart phone as this is too small a screen. Try to ensure the equipment is fully charged before the session. To ensure I can see you both well it is best to have light coming from behind the screen which would then direct light onto your faces.
Ensure you are both comfortable with the space between you that feels right for you whilst still both being visible on the screen so I can see you well.
I can offer further guidance to help you get the most from your online sessions with me.